"[Getting five kids into bed] is like dealing with terrorists. You have to cajole them, and you have to negotiate ... it's really the opposite of a hostage situation — instead of trying to get people out of there, you're trying to keep them in there: I'll give you whatever you want! What do you want, a helicopter to Cuba? Anything, just stay in there and don't hurt anyone."
Stand-up comedian Jim Gaffigan's first book is about parenting. It's not a how-to guide or a manual of any kind. In fact, this is the last person you'd want to be taking parenting advice from. Gaffigan doesn't know anything about being a parent. He got married and all of a sudden there were babies crawling all over his apartment. He doesn't know how it happened.
Gaffigan's collection of essays is a welcome addition to the ultra-polemical barrage of parenting books that have come out in the past few years. You can tell he loves being a parent, even if it means he never sleeps again, loses touch with friends, and feeling guilty about every decision he makes. He narrated this book and I highly recommend listening to it. He has a midwestern deadpan delivery that will make you laugh out loud (but not too loud because the kids are sleeping).
Find Dad is Fat at the library.